0:00
Welcome to this week's episode of midlife AF I cannot wait for this episode.
0:06
I can't wait to introduce you to my dear friend, Sarah rose batch. Sara and I met in Jolene parks, gray area drinking coaching. We both trained to become master gray area drinking coaches and Sara has been running a really fabulous business. I really admire and she's written this amazing book called Beyond booze so handing over to me and Sarah.
0:36
If you're a woman in midlife, whose intuition is telling you that giving booze the elbow might be the next right move. Their midlife AF is the podcast for you. Join counselor psychotherapist this naked mind and gray area drinking alcohol coach Eamon Gilmore for a weekly natter about parenting quirky teens, menopause relationships and navigating this thing called midlife alcohol free. If you're feeling that life could be so much more that you're sick and tired of doing all the things for everyone else. If your intuition is waving her arms manically at you saying it could all be so much easier if we didn't have to keep drinking. Come with me. Together we'll find our groove without booze.
1:26
I lovingly acknowledge the boomerang people of the Kulin nation as the custodians of Curt Baroque. I share my admiration for the Aboriginal culture I witnessed the connection that they have for each other and the land and their community. As I swim in the waters and walk on the land, I feel the power of this place. I'm grateful for the Aboriginal peoples amazing custodianship, the power, beauty and the healing potential of this place. I wish to pay special respects to the elders of the Buena, wrong people. Their wisdom, guidance and support are exceptional, and felt well beyond the Aboriginal community. I honor that this is Aboriginal land, and that it has never been ceded. I am committed to listening to the Aboriginal community, and learning how I can be an active ally in their journey to justice. I'm so excited because I've got Sarah's book here. Sarah, my friend, the author.
2:29
I was saying before we went live I feel like we're talking about someone else. It still feels real to me that I have written a book that has become a best seller. So I'm so so excited.
2:42
And I'm so proud of you and these look at these colors like are they amazing. The colors of your book is just so bright and wonderful. Just like your wonderful self. So here we are today. I'm lucky enough to have my very lovely friend very kind human. Join me today in this Instagram life. I will I met Sarah. Oh, I can't even remember 2122 I can't remember something like that. We were in Germany in parks mastermind group in her gray area drinking mastermind group together. That's the first time we met isn't it? I think.
3:24
Yeah, it was Yeah.
3:27
Yeah. And Sarah was already doing masses of wonderful things at that at that stage and had her wonderful business going. And we've become friends we've talked even though we live in different states. And there has been a really great support to me which I find that women in our community generally are really beautiful humans are very kind and very thoughtful. So I was so delighted when she became a published author and so excited for her. We're going to have a really lovely chat today about all things alcohol talk a little bit about Sarah's book as well so that we can give you the you know the reasons to buy it because it is a wonderful life read it in fact, I have two copies now I'm very excited to share it with everybody but are handing over to Sara festival. Sarah, would you be kind enough to introduce yourself and tell the audience a little bit about you? And I'm sure many of them already know you but if you would be willing to you will be very welcome.
4:29
Of course thank you so much for having me em and right back at you. You're the kindest, most compassionate woman with a heart of absolute gold. Oh, it's such a joy to be here. sharing this with you. So hello to everyone who may not have come across me before I am Sara respect. I am a gray area drinking coach and also menopause coach and I stopped drinking coming up to five years now. So April 2019. I was a classic gray area drinker. I I started drinking at a very young age at 14. And I developed a fairly dysfunctional relationship with alcohol. And finally, I'm not going to say it was easy. And I'm not going to say it happened overnight. We all know the struggles, it took me two years from my first break of taking a break, to add weight in my life without alcohol. But that two years was almost a really important part of my journey of discovering who I was with and without alcohol and which version of myself I loved the most. And in removing alcohol, so many things changed for me so many, both within me as a person, and then it also in my external world. And now I've gone on to create a business that supports other women who are stuck and lost and feeling like the only thing they have to look forward to is their evening wine because that was where my life had got to. And I'm really passionate about supporting women who feel scared about changing their relationship with alcohol to know that it is scary, but it is also just one of the most wonderful things and gifts we can give ourselves.
6:07
Yeah, 100% are Thank you Stone Cold plunges I have to go but love you both. Yeah, brilliant. And check him after it are sweet. That's nice. And my goodness, we've got lots of people coming on. Thank you so much for sharing that, Sarah because that was my experience as well. And they, it's so interesting. In the way our world kind of normalizes that, isn't it? It's so much like, this is what you get. This is what you get to have. This is what you get to expect. And we all kind of go along thinking, Oh, this is okay. This seems all right. And I don't know about you. And Sarah was really helpful to me as well. Going through when I started understanding perimenopause a bit I joined some of Sarah's groups and learned so much from them in her communities. But I think menopause is one of those times perimenopause is one of those times where you wake up and you're on it, you look around, you don't like the fact that I get here. Estrogen kept me going.
7:10
Where I want to be, like, Am I in the right place? Am I you know, like, we start asking ourselves those big questions. And in most cases, most of the women I work with their answer of, Am I where I thought I would be at this stage in my life? The answer is no. And, and then it's about going okay, so what changes am I going to make to change that so that I don't stay living in a life where I'm not experiencing joy and happiness as much as I'd like to.
7:38
And it's almost like you don't realize, do you that you're in this matrix. And it's almost I think, like alcohol and estrogen somehow have a key purpose. Like just doing all the stuff. And then suddenly, when things start to fluctuate with estrogen and alcohol comes to a head for whichever way it does for you. is like, you look up, you wake up, and I remember waking up and thinking, Oh, my God, how did I go from this young? The world's my oyster, I can do anything. I was tough snails. Human drinking too much still. But, yeah, all these hopes and dreams, and ended up in this life that I was having to drink in order to manage intelligence to cope with in order to be okay. Like, I was okay, in order to pretend I was okay. Yeah.
8:38
Yeah. But we get trapped in that cycle, because it's so normalized, that every turn it's like, go and have a glass of wine that will help all your your issues, go and have a glass of wine and everything will be okay, you deserve it. That's your reward. And I interviewed someone the other day who was sharing her story. And she said, for so many years, I thought that alcohol was self care. But in actual fact, it was self harm. As and when we when we actually realize that for so many of us, it's causing more harm than good. We start to actually see all it has in our lives in a very different way. Definitely.
9:15
I think that's it. It's like there is a perspective change isn't there, it's almost like the blinkers come off. And when she blinkers come off, it's difficult. You can't unsee what you've seen. It's difficult to go back. But while you're still broke, you know, it's still in the blinkers. It's difficult to imagine another way or difficult to imagine a different perspective. That was my exactly. I would never believe in a million years that I would be a happily alcohol free person, not at all interested in drinking alcohol and quite, you know, it's a cycle. You know, there's questions that people ask you and they're all How are you going to manage your wedding?
9:57
Yeah. How are you going to manage To dedicate the day, how are you going to have a birthday? And all those thoughts come through your mind when you're contemplating changing your relationship with alcohol, but in actual fact, that when you do it, it's nowhere near as scary or hard as you think it's going to be missing. By doing all those things pierced and unnatural fat, you could enjoy them so much more when you're present and aware and sober.
10:25
That's exactly it. That's exactly yeah. And so many of us don't. And I speak for myself as well, because I didn't change for a long time, because I was afraid of what it might be like, I was really frightened of what it might mean about me what people might think about me, what judgments people were make about me, if I stopped drinking? And who I was who I was, what was my identity gonna be? Yeah. What was your experience of that? Tara?
10:59
Yeah, I was selling for the party girl. I was Sarah, whose house everyone went to before the party. And I was Sarah, who's everyone's house, everyone came to my house after the party like out. So like, intertwined in my identity and who I was and how I showed up that for me, it was kind of like, how am I even going to begin to discover who I am without alcohol. And it definitely took a while. But, but that's the fun part is well, because it turns out the alcohol had been masking so many things that had been masking my true authentic self, and I don't believe we can ever know our true authentic selves when we're pissed off and open nearly all the time. And so in just removing alcohol, I discovered, like, yeah, I am a social person, but I actually really need time to myself, and I like time to myself, but when I'm drinking, I was scared of time with myself. And I would avoid time with myself, because I couldn't be with myself. And it was in the removing of alcohol, that it wasn't just the removing of alcohol. And I think that's what you and I have to be really clear about. And we both share this. Alcohol is not suddenly your life's amazing, everything's not plastic. That's the iceberg. But it was in the removal of the alcohol, that paths opened up for me to go and do some deep healing to go and do some deep self discovery, so that I could then really get to know who I was, and what I needed. Because I, I never thought I got to have needs, like my place meeting the needs of everyone around me, my story was very much I'd been we've moved around a lot as a kid, I was a new girl, I was always having to find ways to get people to like me find ways to immerse myself and make new friends. And so I never got to know me, I never got a chance to know who I really was. Because my whole life was about survival. And to me survival meant connection, and was trying to make liked me. And in actual fact, in in adulthood, and in sobriety, I've got to know myself. And that's it. Because the sad thing is that so many people will get to the end of their lives and never actually truly know who they are.
13:17
So true. It's so true. And I think if people said to me, what's the biggest thing that you get from this journey? For me, it's been getting to know who I really am totally fine. Yeah, finding out that human, who we left behind, and a long time.
13:39
Know, you know, we're so brought up with fulfilling the beliefs and expectations in society and family and all of those things, that we're just not molding ourselves to fit into what we're told, we should be like, and, and it's so wonderful to be at this stage in life where you can go, this is what I like, this is what I mean, who I am this, I want, like all of this.
14:05
Yeah, I can you can actually start to be silly and play a bit because you're not on high alert anymore. And you actually like it that's for me, I'm like, I'm finding that I can have a bit of a play sometimes because I'm not in that constant like what the words that you use, there was that trying, you know, constantly trying, constantly seeking constantly striving. Yeah,
14:26
you get to it to discover your authentic self and then show up as her and trust the people that are your people will will find you and that we don't have all the people like us we don't I listen to someone say a third of the people are definitely not your people. And further people can take you or leave you or your people. Don't waste time on the people that are not your people or the people that can take you or leave or leave you just focus on the people that are your people, and then your life will be so rich and you will be so much happier than trying to make someone who's not your person like you who's never probably going to like you not because of anything you've done wrong. That's it.
15:09
That's it. It's so true. It's so true. And so many of us spend so much of our lives trying to convince other people
15:18
have our work.
15:22
And it's definitely part of this journey for me, is, tell me a little bit. From your perspective. Sarah, when you were growing up?
15:33
What were the
15:36
what were the examples what was modeled to you of what a good life looks like?
15:47
Yeah, like I think growing up, it was kind of just that expectation that you will get married, you will have kids, you will be able to have enough that you will, you know, make enough money, it was all focused on my parents were not wealthy, they didn't make much money. It wasn't your dreams of what you love. It was about get the job that pays the most money, do the thing that will most money. I was very lucky that I had a grandmother who I was very close to who was extraordinary, all over the world. And she instilled in me such a passion for travel. And as a result of that, I broke free of the shackles of a lot of the expectations and just when pressed the Fuckit by them and did a lot of travel on my own. As well as with friends, I moved to London straight off to university on my own, I went traveling around the world. And I think that allowed me even though a lot of it was alcohol fueled, it's still not have to live by the expectations of what society and everyone said around me.
16:53
And what was your What was your kind of? Did you have a series of wake up moments you said it was a two year period where you were trying to work out how you were going to do drinking? Can you talk us a little bit about what life was like for you before? You came to that conclusion? Yeah.
17:11
So my drinking changed after having kids and moving to Australia. Yeah, I'd always been a big drinker. But it had been social. And then we moved to Australia, there was a lot of things that all happened at once, that I had such little self awareness that I didn't realize that what was happening, I just knew that I felt wrong. The body and the things that happen, I've had a very successful recruitment business in the UK as a director of a firm with that had come a lot of financial success. But But more than that, independence, there was a lot of pens in New York and weekends, in central Pei and in beautiful restaurants and, and that had formed a lot of my life and what I believed I loved about life. And, and all of a sudden, we were on the other side, I had a very close group of girlfriends in London, and we were so tight. And then all of a sudden, I was on the other side of the world. Were two kids under two with I wasn't working so I was getting no self worth or sense of identity through my job. I had no friends I was making. And I met some beautiful people. But solid friendships because there was no history there. Right? You're still nervous system is still working them out. You're still putting on an act of trying to make you that you're meeting. I was really I was really homesick. I was really sad. I and I'm such a you know, people who are watching some of you know me really well. I'm such a connector. I'm such a girls girl. I'm such a I'm quite driven. I'm quite a deaf person and like, give me a problem and I'll find a solution that's been meet my life and I wouldn't even have recognized the woman that I was. And I an alcohol became a crutch because what alcohol did was it took all of those uncomfortable emotions away. You don't feel sad or homesick or lonely or scared or, or or lost or unfulfilled. Whether you're a bottle of wine in all this field. A Yes. And so you do that I keep doing that. If it was to not make you feel the way that you're feeling and I had very little self awareness to be able to sit there and go, Ah, this is what's going on. For me. There wasn't any feelings inside of wrongness if you know what I mean. And the those wrong feelings disappear. So it was of course I'm gonna drink. But then the drinking became the problem. Alcohol started as a solution to the problem. But then the alcohol became the problem because it was causing anxiety. It was impacting my sleep. I was putting on weight my skin was disgusting. I promises to myself a lot, which then would be negative self talk going on. So I went to my GP and I said, I'm just riddled with anxiety. I'm a shell of the person I used to be. But at no point did she say to me, how much are you drinking? So happily wrote me a prescription for anti anxiety meds, but there was no question around alcohol. So I didn't take the meds. And what I did was decide to do a 21 day detox, this was back in 2017. A couple of things that have been to a party fallen over, I've cut my face open. I do very, very drink, you know boozy drinking sessions. So I took that off. And I couldn't believe how quickly the negativity disappeared, I couldn't believe how quick it disappeared. So I kept going. But because coming back to what we talked about, just before the identity piece, I was still Sarah, the party girl, I was still, it was unthinkable to me that I would not ever drink again. So I went back to drink, thinking, Now I'll be able to moderate. But of course, we know that that often is not the case. And I was back to drinking the same amount. So that two year period between April 2017 and April 2019, was just full of binge drinking episodes, sober episodes, self reflection episodes, only for the first time in my life, I was really reflecting and had this sense of self awareness given to me by those periods of sobriety, and then reached the conclusion that I needed to be alcohol free, and I wanted to be alcohol free. And when I made that decision, it just felt like utter freedom. I was excited, actually about about my future. And then I also decided to go into therapy, and really deal with some of what had kept me stuck that had kept me from connecting to my authentic self. And through therapy, I developed that that self connection that strengthens all the time now. Yeah.
22:21
That's so
22:23
it rings very true. To my experience, as well. It's so interesting, isn't it, that complete lack of awareness that we have. And then you start to it's almost like you start to awaken to what's happening. And you have little periods. And do I even remember, because I hated the periods of time when I wasn't drinking. Because my goal was always to go back to drinking and be like a normal drinker. I'm like everything, you know, did I always say people always come and say, Oh, it's like, how do you want to do college student like a normal person? Yeah. Like a normal person, please. Yeah. Which I laugh at. But in reality, that's exactly what I wanted and what I was trying to do for two years, and then it's only like on realization that this normal nonsense that we've been fed is, you know, completely made up, and not a reality. And that really helped me actually that sort of realization. I don't know about you, but that sort of waking up and thinking, Oh, my goodness, actually, it's not me. The problem isn't me. I'm not Yeah, I'm not the problem. I thought I was the problem, because we will sit there thinking we're the problem. Don't worry with it. We're alone. We're shapes, we've got no willpower. We're weak. And this is something we should be able to manage. We should be able to
23:46
exercise responsibly for income. Yeah, that's one. Believe. If we can't do that, it's our time. We've got to we've
23:56
got to try harder to put our bloody socks up, haven't we? And when you know, different, you're like, This is ridiculous. Of course, this was never going to work. But at the time, we're there hating on ourselves. And, you know, I know so many women now who were feeling like that who are like, I can't, I can't speak up, I can't get help. I can't change this because I shouldn't be free. I shouldn't be in this situation. It's my fault I am. And that's so sinister, that it's such a sinister narrative that we live in, whereby we're afraid, need to tell our truth because we're afraid of being rejected, because of the stigma that's been created by that. Drink responsibly. Come in and other things like it. It's just it's actually a big minefield. Isn't it and I think when you go out like you've done, and you put yourself on the line, you're like, you start talking about it and you do it. And you do all these amazing things to help create the scaffolding that supports your life so that you don't have to, or you don't feel that you have to run away from it and escape it. And that you do start to have those tools where you can be with yourself and your distress. Can you tell us a little bit about what your the things are that keep you feeling really good about yourself? And how you've only talked a bit about therapy? Is there anything else that you would recommend to people?
25:35
Yeah. So for me, it's been a journey of experimentation and discovery, and also remembering that different things work in different seasons of your life. And so it's also about being open to evolving and open to change, which again, I was absolutely rubbish at when I was drinking, I became habitual. This is what I do. I didn't think outside the box, whereas sobriety has given me the option of being open to new things. I've just started adult hip hop dancing classes. No, I would have done that a few years ago, because I wouldn't have wanted to be out of the house at that time. And evening. One of my goals for this year is to be onstage in a show doing an adult dance class
26:15
and say, I really need to see the videos, please, when it comes out. What songs are you doing? I love hip hop.
26:24
So with Well, at the moment, it's just all new. But we get our our song for the show, too. So at the moment, we're just learning how to move our body. So it's fun. Yeah, that
26:36
sounds brilliant. Anything else? What else has been useful for you? Somatic
26:40
therapy has been absolutely huge breath work has changed my life has allowed me I do one on one breath work once a month with my teacher. And I connect to my authentic soul self in a way that I didn't in any other way in my life. And I have to give myself that space to to have that connection. So somatic work breathwork has been absolutely life changing. And then looking after my physical health, so changing up my food, the supplements that I take for the stage that I'm at in my life now exercising cold water therapy, I bought myself a sauna with the money that I saved from not drinking. And so it's the it's looking after my nervous system and my nervous system regulation because I have a very dysregulated nervous system. And that's taken a hell of a lot of work and continues to take work. It's making sure that I'm doing things to have fun, which is where the hip hop come from. Having a laugh, not taking myself too seriously, connecting with other people making sure that I'm adding that in because I didn't used to look forward to anything other than getting pissed. And I really look forward to my hip hop, I look forward to going on a Sunday morning to a sauna, ice bath session. I like it, it's really important that we start to when we take the booze out that we are and I've written an entire chapter in my book on how do you have fun without alcohol? And what is your fun plan, because we can't take out everything else in our life the same and expected to everything to be wonderful. If we take the boot, we've got to add some stuff. And
28:29
it's such an important point that you make there because I have had clients upon clients and I've been in this situation myself, where it's like, Okay, I've stopped drinking. And it's, I still feel like shit. So I might as well go back because I was expecting it to be like the fucking beat and I'm exhausted now. And in fact, I'm quite grumpy. And I'm getting pissed off with people in my life. And it's like, well, this stuff happens. And quite often that can be the reason we go back to drinking because we have an expectation that it's going to be and I'm not like I know for me actually, when I stopped drinking, I did have moments and I still do have moments that we know when the diamorphine comes out of your body and you actually start to feel joy again, you know, in the simple things of life, that feeling of Technicolor, you know, like, actually, the world does feel like it's in Technicolor, as opposed to slightly dumbed down and a bit shit. But that's not to say, I mean, when I stopped drinking, I was exhausted because I've been on the system, fucking red alert for my whole life. So my nervous system was like, I'm really tired now. And so then it's like, how do I do all the things to look after and love myself back into to a place where my nervous system can, you know bounce back and have a bit more resilience because it is to miss you have to kind of you put the things in place to love and nurture yourself. And I think it's Really important that what you were saying before the outcome is that it's almost equals just the band aid. Really, it's we have to create the whole, the reason why we're drinking, we have to create the circumstances to heal all of those things and create nice scaffolds to support ourselves. I think in that what's
30:24
really important, I think, you know, like, there's a lot of noise on social media of sobriety is amazing. You remove alcohol in your life is amazing. Yeah. And it, yes, and it can. But it's, it's not just from the act of removing. And I think I think that's all they have to do, is I stopped drinking, and then everything will be amazing. And then it's, and then it's like, Well, shit, that's not right. And so like you said, we go back to drinking, it's about remembering that removing alcohol is just the beginning part. The next is, we've got to take agency for ourselves, we've got to actually remember that our entire life is our responsibility. No one is going to make your life amazing, no one is coming. To create your best life for you. It is entirely up to you, as and what I was trapped in when I was drinking was very much a blame culture, and very much a culture. So nothing was everything was everybody else's fault. Poor me. You don't know what it's like to be me, I'm dealing with all of this is a very stuck, whereas removing alcohol also allowed me to take agency for myself in terms of going well, it's not my job to make me happy. It's not my friends. Happy. It's my job to be completely responsible for designing a life that I love. And that there might be some parameters in that, that make it hard. But there is still always something I can do. Always. Even if it's the smallest of things that's
32:01
Sakhi, right. That's
32:03
exactly right. And I know your journey. Tell us a little bit of your if you wouldn't mind about your journey with perimenopause and how that became such a focus on you because you are a wealth of knowledge in that area. And you've introduced me to so many amazing resources in that area as well. Yeah. Could you tell us a bit about that?
32:27
perimenopause for me started showing up in a few different ways. Again, anxiety, Z, panic attacks, I've never worked before in sobriety. And so I hadn't really know what the hell was going on with that. I am I started putting weight on again, around the very common. Yeah, very, very bad headache. Yes. And which again, I don't normally had never really been someone that had had headaches before. I'm getting so forgetful. So just constantly googling what are the first signs of dementia? Yes. Well, that, that within a year, I wouldn't even know my name. And then I discovered Dr. Barton in the UK, who has gone on to become a friend of mine, actually. And she has really helped me understand some of the symptoms of normal they are and how we can start to support ourselves. And then I went on to become to train with Dr. Wendy sweet in the UK, in New Zealand, sorry, and she helped me understand what's available to us outside of medication. So the difference of what of changing your diet makes the difference of what managing your stress makes the difference of what changing up your exercise. A lot of women are over exercising in this period, because they're putting on weight. Exercising, I've got to exercise more. And then they put their nervous system into utter dysregulation. We start to get adrenal fatigue, the body then hangs aid because it thinks that something was going on
34:10
in famine at
34:13
night. Cardio can be really good when we're in perimenopause. Actually, some strength training and some yoga can be a really good way of walking like Neville. The Mediterranean diet is the best diet hands down to, we become more insulin resistant when we go into perimenopause, which is all to do with that estrogen receptors. So what this means is we are more likely to put weight on from eating sugar and processed foods. It might be that in our 20s, we could get away with it and then in our 40s and 50s. We can't and I just think that knowledge is power with all of this and that to understand my choices will impact my outcome and and I really encourage women I'm coming up to 48 next month, and I just think the decisions and the choices I make now will impact the women I am in 20 3040 years, and I intend to be around for my kids and my grandkids and you know, Touchwood that that will all go to plan. But that will come down as well to the choices and decisions I make around food around movement around stress around, stop people pleasing, start saying no to that after yourself. Like it's all interrelated with this as well.
35:22
That's it. And I think, again, that sort of reiterates this, that it's because often people I think, think, Oh, well, if I stopped drinking, then everything will be okay. That's like what we said before. And in actual fact, it's almost like, it can hold you back thinking it's just drinking. Because if you think it's just drinking and drinking is the only thing it becomes another thing on the list of things that you have to do. So my Psycho another tick tick list in life like I'm, I've got drinking sorted now, what's the next thing I can get on with? And that can be very disappointing for you then when it doesn't materialize like that. It's almost like the project of you is what you're doing. You know, this is the project. This is the journey that we're on, isn't it?
36:07
Yeah. And giving yourself permission to prioritize yourself and your needs at this stage in your life.
36:14
That's it for the first time for many of us, right? Because it hasn't felt safe to Yeah. Oh, that's creating that sense of safety in yourself, isn't it? Yeah. So, Sarah, I love you. You are the cleverest person, one of the cleverest people. I know your groups are phenomenal. I mean, most of them. Learning from you, and the amazing resources that you bring all the time. Your book is a fabulous, and I'm so excited for you. Did you say that it's in like the best sellers? What tower? Tell us tell us
36:51
why you got sim Sydney. I one of my ladies sent me a photo. But it was number one, how well it was selling the car. And I was like, Wow, that's amazing.
37:05
And so well deserved, you know, to put all this fabulous information in such as I've been reading, it's such a user friendly, easy guide. And it's interesting. It's funny, it's just so relatable. I love it so much. If you were to kind of describe to people in a few sentences, what your book is about and who it's for, would you be able to do that.
37:35
It's a book for women in midlife. It's a book for women who either already alcohol free, and then looking for what to add in to create their best life now, or women who are sober, curious, and considering what life might be like without alcohol, and how to get started and what we need to add in. It's not a book about how to get sober. There's brilliant books out there that will really support people with you know, taking a break for 30 days and things like that. It's not get sober. It's a book about how to create a life so you don't need or want to keep going back to alcohol. So it's what it's all my tools and all my strategies of what has supported me to stay sober, and never feel for a moment like I'm missing out. Yeah, this book was about menopause. In the book, we talk about relationships, we talk about sober sex, we're talking about what to do if you're drinking, how to navigate your friendships, how to manage stress, and understand your nervous system, there's a checklist of ways that you can start to consider how that might work for you. So this, how to find your purpose, how to create a more fulfilling purpose led life that that supports you over the next 10 years of your life. It's a book from a woman to a woman that comes from a place of love, a place of compassion, a place of kindness, and wanting all women who were trapped in the cycle that I was to know that there is another way there was another way to do life, there was another way to be you. And actually it's an upgrade. It's a level up from from the way that we work. It is.
39:07
And that's something that breaks my heart the heart
39:13
breaks my heart like people think it's bad, like it's not as good. It's like it's so much better and not from that happy, happy. However, we're all like on I don't know, some kind of happiness drug. It's not that it's the truth of it. Like it's the real pneus of it. That's so extraordinary. And I thank you for being in my community. I thank you for the work that you do. I thank you for bringing this beautiful book to life. And I can't even imagine how hard it was writing it I find writing really hard I'm trying to write at the moment and I find it so hard so I'm so in admiration for you about it. And also Sarah I know most people will know you but I will you say a little bit about you know How to find you what your groups are because I cannot recommend service groups more. They're fabulous. For me, I've particularly utilized the stuff that she's had around perimenopause and really helped educate me in an area that I was very unsure of and wasn't really I didn't really know what I was doing or didn't feel like I had autonomy to question. Some of the things I was being told by my medical professionals and things like that. And you really helped me with that. So So could you share other ways that people can get ahold of you know about you?
40:31
Yeah, absolutely. So my Facebook community, my free Facebook group is called the Women's wellbeing collective. And you can just join that if you head to my website, there's a link, my website is Sarah respects.com. My Instagram I share lots on here, you can get the book, all over the world now UK, USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, from Amazon, from limits, it's a big W target Kmart, all the big shops. And the feedback I'm getting is amazing. And I share that not to be not to gloat, but to say, I'm so I'm so proud that I've been able to write a book that is resonating with so many women all over the world, we might be in America, or Canada, or England or Australia. But we all have such similar common themes of where we're at in our life right now. And, and what we need. And I am so grateful that this book, there's tons of resources at the back, this podcast is all the things that have really helped me on my journey of self growth and self discovery that I just want to share with other women. So that it's not easy to find out there. You know, we are constantly bombarded with information that the only way to unwind is with booze. The only way to reward yourself after a hard day is with booze. And so it's important that we keep gathering new information as well.
41:54
Brilliant work. Thank you so much, my friend. I'm so glad that you could come and join us. I know how busy and crazy it is at the moment for you. And I'm celebrating you so hard for your success. It's so wonderful to see. Thank you for coming here and
42:08
speaking with me, having me am I so appreciate you. Dolly. Take care. Okay, lots
42:14
of love. Hello, beautiful humans, I have something so super exciting for you. It is a one. I've never done this before. So I'm offering five positions to work with me on a one to one basis over a month period. I'm calling it mg in your pocket as it will literally be like having me as a personal alcohol trainer in your pocket. So it's quite intense. It's similar to what I've done before for my VIP package. But this time you get for additional one to one sessions with me. So you get a month of intimate coaching my 30 Day Ozzie alcohol experiment self paced, so four times one to 160 minute sessions, and then Voxer or Marco Polo connection to me, the in betweens, you can ask me any questions, get support, get unstuck, keep momentum, whatever you need. So it's super intense. I'm offering it to people to sign up before Easter. The reason I'm doing that is I was reflecting on an Easter that I had the last Easter I had full of alcohol before. I stopped in the January of 2020. And now I'm looking at my Easter's and they're so beautiful. One of my favorite times, I still get to spend time with friends I still get to do beautiful things. But I'm really really present with my kids. And I just remember it was in that sort of year my last year of drinking and it just all felt so overwhelming. And I remember we had people around for lunch and I had this beautiful spread laid out and the only way I could really cope with it at all was to drink I didn't realize this at the time. So I really wanted to offer people the opportunity to do April to do Easter. alcohol free to be present for your family over the Easter school holidays. And during the Easter break from work. If you're up for it, I am 100% up for it. I've only got five spots so I can see one person each day and give them my full divided mention. If you're interested, you can either sign up directly with the link or contact me. And there's a link to a 15 minute inquiry call if you want to ask me any questions. But we will 100% hyper focus on all of your limiting beliefs around alcohol. We'll put together a plan a scaffolding for you to support healthy practices in your life, so that you can get to a point where you can take or leave alcohol and you choose to leave it. All right, my lovelies, I'll leave that with you lots of love.
45:40
Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode of midlife AF with Emma Gilmore. If you enjoyed it, please share on Instagram for your friends and tag me at hote rising coaching. If you want to help me grow the podcast please review the episodes for me on Apple podcast that really helps. If you would like to work further with me please go to my website www Haute rising coaching.com for my free and paid programs or email me at Emma at Hope rising coaching.com sending a massive catalog to you and yours for me and mine and remember to keep choosing you
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
