#04 - Having Your Own Back and Why it Changes Everything with Jay Fields


In this episode of Midlife AF, I'm going to introduce you to one of my favourite people and probably one of the most influential teachers that I've come across since I've been following this path to an alcohol free midlife.

Jay has had such a big influence on so many different parts of my life. But particularly on my relationship with my family and my relationship with myself. Jay is a somatic experiencing coach, she will tell you about herself in the episode. But she's extraordinary. 

She taught me to understand why people-pleasing and over responsibility are so much part of our conditioning, particularly as women, how our emotional boundaries are so porous, we often don't know where we begin. I find drinkers as highly sensitive people, and we're often on high alert, feeling and taking on other people's experiences, so much so that our own experiences don't matter anymore. 

It's Jay who introduced me to parts work, recognising that we we are all such precious darling little souls, trying our very best in life. And things that we do and the maladaptive behaviours that we have are there for a reason that they're trying to keep us safe and that their intentions are so good, even if their methods are genuinely not great long term strategies. 

For a long time when we're drinking or escaping our world. We haven't been present for ourselves. And so our little souls don't feel like they've somebody who had their back who was looking after them, like somebody who loved them, and this is why my approach, and what I found so helpful in Jay’s work and that is also aligned with This Naked Minds methodology is it's not about beating ourselves up. It's not about saying I'm weak or being ashamed or berating ourselves. 

It’s about understanding why we stumble, acknowledging the very real feelings, worries and concerns that got us here. It's about building trust and comforting our precious selves and our distress, reassuring them that we're here now that we're not going to abandon them anymore. 

This is a brilliant episode, particularly for anyone who gets triggered and feels like their behaviour of the people around them is causing them to drink. And even if you're not drinking, it's important stuff to learn for when the people around you, your partners, your friends, your children are pushing your buttons and you feel like you're going to explode, which is your nervous system being dysregulated.

You are going to love this episode!!


NB since I recorded this episode I have learnt a lot more about Autism and PDA, with the knowledge I have now I know that whether or not my child goes to school or not will not impact whether they have a fulfilling life or not.  So I apologise if that triggers anyone going through something similar and having to advocate for their child’s autism.


If you have any questions or topics that you would like a podcast on please click here.


If you are in need of immediate support please use this link to access the resources I know and trust can help you in a crisis 



Jay Fields: https://jay-fields.com/about-jay-fields

Jay’s ‘Yours Truly’ program: https://jay-fields.com/yours-truly The next cohort starts Feb 1 2023.

This Naked Mind: The Alcohol Experiment, This Naked Life Podcasts & This Naked Mind & Alcohol Experiment Books https://thisnakedmind.com/


Register for my Masterclass on the ‘5 Surprising Ways taking a break from booze can be effortless AND change your life’ October 27th at 5pm OR November 2nd at 7pm AEST



Take a 30 day break from booze with my Live Aussie Alcohol Experiment - Doors close on the 2nd November for a 3rd November start date


If you aren’t ready to stop drinking but want to make some positive steps to a healthier relationship or prepare for taking a break with alcohol download my FREE Awareness Worksheets: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/pl/2147565979

If you need a quick reset or you want to get to know me and my methodology a bit more before you take a plunge into a longer program the 5 Day Alcohol Reset Program could be what you are looking for check it out here: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/five-day-alcohol-reset-copy-1

Learn more about Emma at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com

Follow Emma on insta @hoperisingcoaching


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