#119 Reconnected AF

In this session, I guide you through grounding practices, explore why so much of what we believe about alcohol (and ourselves) simply isn’t true, and share how shifting your beliefs can change your relationship with drinking without willpower, shame, or self‑punishment.

I talk about the myths around alcohol “relaxing” us, why we reach for the buzz when life feels overwhelming, and how dopamine and dinorphin actually keep us stuck in a cycle of stress, anxiety, and disappointment. We also look at how cultural conditioning, patriarchy, trauma, and people‑pleasing shape our drinking, and why self‑soothing with alcohol is an intelligent adaptation, not a moral failing.

This is an invitation to step out of fear and scarcity and into choice, abundance, and deep self‑compassion as you move toward a take‑it‑or‑leave‑it relationship with alcohol.

Episode Highlights

• This series is a reset, not a reprimand - it’s designed for the wobbly space between Christmas and New Year to help you repair, reconnect, and refresh before stepping into 2026.
• Grounding is essential, not optional - simple practices like feeling your feet, placing a hand on your chest and tummy, and breathing slowly can regulate your nervous system and bring you back into your body.
• Beliefs run the show - most of our drinking is driven by unconscious beliefs at three levels:
  Substance: “Alcohol relaxes me,” “It’s a treat,” “It helps me switch off.”Society: “You can’t celebrate or socialise without booze,” “A proper meal needs wine.” Self: “There’s something wrong with me,” “I’m weak,” “I should have more willpower.”
  
• Much of what we believe about alcohol is the opposite of the truth - science shows alcohol floods us with dopamine once, then leaves us with cortisol, adrenaline, and dinorphin, increasing anxiety, low mood, poor sleep, and the urge to drink again.
• The ‘buzz’ isn’t what you think - it’s not calm or happiness; it’s a dopamine‑fuelled seeking state that makes us chase more, even when the drink doesn’t actually taste or feel that good.
• You didn’t “make” yourself - your patterns are intelligent adaptations to your upbringing, culture, trauma (big T and small t), and the roles society expects midlife women to play.
• Compulsive drinking is self‑soothing, not lack of character - as the holistic psychologist says, soothing is instinctual, not moral. You drink because it works… until it doesn’t.
• Alcohol keeps us small and compliant - it helps us tolerate the intolerable: over‑functioning, people‑pleasing, exhaustion, loneliness, and suppressing our true needs and desires.
• Real rebellion is going against the drinking norm - in a culture that normalises a toxic substance, choosing to question alcohol and listen to your intuition is deeply counter‑cultural.
• Dopamine needs to be scaled to effort - quick, high dopamine hits (like alcohol) come with a cost; joy and contentment grow from effortful, value‑aligned actions and genuine connection.
• Shame and drill‑sergeant tactics don’t create sustainable change - research shows long‑term change comes from kindness, curiosity, and self‑compassion, not punishment and fear.
• The path to change is threefold: knowledge → emotion → action 
• Learn how alcohol truly affects your brain, body, and nervous system.
• Imagine how you want to feel (freedom, peace, self‑trust, ease) and let that pull you forward.
  Then experiment with behaviour (pauses, breaks, new rituals) from a place of choice, not deprivation.
• A take‑it‑or‑leave‑it relationship with alcohol is possible - when your beliefs shift and the desire softens, you’re no longer fighting yourself; you’re simply choosing what genuinely serves you. 

👉 Join the 3-Day Festive Alcohol Reset (Dec 27–29)
Repair · Reconnect · Refresh (Free)
https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset

👉 Join the January 2026 Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment - Starts January 1
https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment