Episode 11: You Are Not the Problem - But You Are the Solution - Sober October, No Drama
Sober October, No Drama: Daily Tips for a Take It or Leave It Relationship With Alcohol
Episode 11: You Are Not the Problem - But You Are the Solution - Sober October, No Drama
Our culture convinces us from the minute we are born that we are the problem. This is perpetuated by:
- Everything we see on TV
- All the stories from AA
- Families having interventions
- Our culture's concept of discipline
- The idea that drinking more than we would like is a sign of weak character - a lack of willpower
But the neuroscience shows that is absolutely not true.
Alcohol is an addictive substance to anybody who drinks it long enough and often enough. And the amount you have to drink for it to start working in a way that makes you want it even when you prefer not to have it - is actually a very low quantity.
The main reason people start drinking more than they want has nothing to do with that.
It is because they start associating the relief from discomfort - the relief from emotional or physical pain - with alcohol.
The big alcohol companies have done a very good job of convincing us that the problem lies with the person. Their "drink responsibly" campaign runs everywhere and continues to convince people that alcohol is a people problem - not a substance problem, coupled with a cultural and societal problem.
Anybody who works in psychology will tell you: a problematic behaviour is always the symptom of the problem - not the problem itself.
And this is true when we drink more than we would like.
The longer we stay stuck in the cycle of self-recrimination and self-flagellation, the longer we stay stuck drinking more than we want:
- It stops us being able to look at the data
- It causes our nervous system to become dysregulated
- We are attacking ourselves from the inside
- We cannot make good decisions from that place
The thing that changes everything is when we stop blaming ourselves and start looking at the data.
This episode is part of Sober October, No Drama - a daily MidlifeAF podcast mini series with tips for cutting back on alcohol without willpower, labels or forever.
My Awareness Worksheets are the perfect tool for starting to look at that data without judgement - and without the self-blame that keeps us stuck. See links below:
Episode links & Resources
• Learn more about Emma Gilmour at: www.hoperisingcoaching.com
• Follow Emma Gilmour on insta @hoperisingcoaching
FREE TOOLS - four beautiful resources to help you drink less and feel fabulous:
1. 7 Steps to Take Back Control of Alcohol - the exact steps I took when I started out on this journey nearly five years ago.
https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/7-steps
2. Awareness Worksheets - if you do nothing else, working through the answers to these questions will change your relationship with alcohol for the better.
https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/awareness-worksheets-opt-in
3. Your North Star Visualisation - stops your brain freaking out about doing something unfamiliar.
https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/northstarvisualisation
4. Grounding Meditation - you know that feeling when you have a drink and the body goes "aaaaaaaahhhhhhh" and everything seems to relax? What the body really needs is to ground - to come back home to self, and for self to feel lovely. That is what we work on in my live programs. We start every session with a grounding and connect with ourselves to find out what our body really needs when it thinks it wants to drink.
https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/grounding
READY TO GO DEEPER?
Are you tired of the mental back-and-forth about drinking?
I am running a FREE 3-Day Alcohol Reset on 22, 23 and 24 Sept, 7:30pm Melb/Syd (replays available). No willpower talk. No abstinence pressure. You can even drink while you do it. A judgement-free space to learn the tools to step into a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol.
REGISTER FREE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/3-day-reset
Want a take it or leave it relationship with alcohol? Want to stop all the "will I, won't I" internal conflict around wine?
I am running the Great Aussie Alcohol Experiment LIVE from Thursday 1 October 30 days. Small group coaching. Only 25 spots. Small, intimate and private. Rewire your brain and nervous system so you no longer have to reach for a glass to quieten your busy brain, calm your overwhelmed soul or socialise when your social battery is spent.
Early bird pricing open now (ends 15th Spetember) - $500 off the full price, plus two 1:1 counselling sessions with me and 3 webinars included (worth +$1,000). We won't run this live again until January.
YOUR NEXT RIGHT MOVE STARTS HERE: https://www.hoperisingcoaching.com/the_great_aussie_alcohol_experiment
Change happens in a moment, my friends - the preparation for change takes a little bit of time. Take the time. You will be amazed at the difference it makes.